Any time you take a relationship problem up into the mind, you have unlimited opportunities to get creative. Conversely, when you send a relationship problem down the elevator into the lower half of the heart, you risk staying stuck in the problem forever.
This happened to me when I was in Italy. I thought so much with my emotion rather than my mind. I became unresourceful, stuck in the little world of how I expected a certain person to behave and completely lost the opportunity to enjoy the moment. I was testarda (stubborn, headstrong) in every sense. I wanted to feel nothing; in fact, I believe I said I felt nothing. And then, I continued to read from the same book where the above text was quoted. It says:
This doesn't mean that you shouldn't feel anything. Feel everything! Notice your feelings. Just don't think with them. When there's a relationship problem to be solved, travel up your ladder to the most creative you.
There you go. It is not me reading the book, but the book reads me. I was wrong to behave that way and as a result, I was angry, sad and mildly depressed. My friend was right and at that time, I refused to acknowledge it. I was too wrapped up feeling sorry for myself and feeling unjustified.
If you can bounce it one way, you can bounce it the other.
Now I know. I will practice and rehearse my thought processes until I make it. If I can be stubborn and driven by emotions, I can "bounce it the other way" and be creative and elevate myself into my mind. I intend to end judgmental thinking (although I believe I'm not one to judge others, I realized I thought too highly of myself in this regard).
NOTE: The relationship I'm referring to in this post is friendship, but of course it's applicable to other types of relationships such as between boss and subordinate, with parents or family members, between couples in romantic relationships, etc.
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